“Independent play” is a lifelong skill all children need to learn. It’s not only beneficial for them as individuals, but also for their parents or caregivers, siblings and others. Interestingly, you can help your child develop this skill as early as 5 or 6 months old!
What is independent play
Independent play does not involve media or a screen. In fact, child developmental experts recommend children under 18 months do not use media, other than video chatting with an adult present. While it can be difficult to avoid screens and media, there are many benefits to teaching young children how to play independently. For instance, and for comparison, children who play independently with blocks have been shown to develop better language and cognitive skills than their peers who were watching educational videos. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a Family Media Planning tool that can help with exposure to screens and media. This may be helpful to check out before teaching children independent play in order to develop a plan that limits the amount of media children are exposed to.
Why is independent play important?
Independent play is a gradual steppingstone that parents and children should take together. Start slow and add on. As you gradually implement more and more independent play, children will begin to find more stamina to focus in school, confidence to be alone for an extended period of time and they develop the ability for independence.
Tips for how to teach independent play
Slowly encourage your child to play by themselves for increasingly longer times, by positively reinforcing with physical contact. You can do this by “catching” your child playing on their own. When they’re playing independently, come up to them and briefly touch their hair or shoulder gently, but don’t interrupt them and don’t say anything to them. Do this often.
- For babies who are not yet mobile, put them on blanket or in a playpen with toys or use an activity center. Leave them to safely play alone for short amounts of time. With infants and toddlers, the amount of time that you are away from them may only be seconds. Slowly increase the amount of time over several weeks. You will know when your child has reached their limit of time away from mom or dad. They will tell you when they’ve had enough and need or want your attention again! It is crucial that parents frequently enter the room where your child is playing to give them those little love pats. Physically showing a child that you approve of what they are doing strongly reinforces the behavior and teaches them that behavior is good. This is more effective than talking to your child or interrupting their play.
- For older children, you may introduce independent play as “quiet time.” Like naptime, schedule a block of time in order to create consistency and routine. To start, during this block of time, go into the room at least every five minutes to give physical contact as positive reinforcement. Over several weeks, gradually increase the amount of time your child spends in “quiet time.” It is important to be patient and go slow. Increasing too quickly may accidently discourage independent play.
Patience is key when teaching independent play and remember not every child is the same. If you are experiencing difficulties with teaching independent play, talk with your child’s doctor for more tips.
Did you know teaching independent play can also help with successful time outs? Learn more.